As mentioned in our top story, a frazzled, distraught redheaded woman has shot her brand new laser printer. When asked "Why would she do such a thing?" The unkempt woman, still in her pajamas and bathrobe yelled "If you were on your third laser printer in a month and were still having problems, you'd do the same damn thing!" Her husband and son could not be reached for comments.
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As the woman was being taken away by police in handcuffs screaming and shouting, the laser printer spit something out at her 15 minutes after she pressed the "print button". Her last remarks were known to be "I told you the damn printer was possessed!!"
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